I'm going to be real, pregnancy for me sucks. It's not beautiful or glamorous. I definitely don't glow and I certainly don't get by without hiccups, but yet the reward is so great.
Contemplating on my pregnancy this round had me in sort of a humorous laugh. I find myself saying things like "the 10 kidney stone I passed was manageable" or " at least I didn't have SPD this round!" Or "well I've only gone into preterm labor 5 times and had over twelve shots of terbutaline...it could be worse."
Then this week happened. On Sunday I fell pretty hard chasing Austin at church. It put me into some serious contractions so I went in. After fully laboring 8 hours they sent me home at a 4+. At this point I realized I've had just about enough of this emotional roller coaster. I was done. So all day today I rested, and then of course half way through the day, bleeding. Turns out I have a kidney stone and a UTI.
At this point all I want is a little normalcy. I want to enjoy pregnancy like many people, but forgive me if I don't. Forgive me if I seem a little hesitant and negative to do it all over again. Forgive me if I look a little TO forward to being induced.
What gets me through is knowing God has a plan, and he knows my suffering. Only he can truly understand what emotional and physical roller coaster I have been on, and I pray that if I am to have another kid, he can also erase the pain I've been holding onto these past two pregnancies.
I'm just blessed to have so much support and good people for those nights I had to go in, and needed someone to take me or to watch Austin. Thank you all!