Happiness is...being grateful in our trials.

Ryan and I live really busy lives. Most days I try not to contemplate how busy our lives are, but somedays I can't help but feel exhausted from it.

I thought it was manageable being a full time Manager, Student, Wife & Mom, but I was CRAZY for thinking that. Even super woman can't handle all that without feeling exhausted! Not to mention throw a social life and spiritual life into that and I'm fried! 

I am not pleased with the circumstance I've got myself into, but I am grateful I am healthy, able, and determined enough to finish what I started. The talk given by Uchtdorf in General Conference really made me take a step back and see how I can be grateful in times of trials, distress, and hardship. I have been through quite a bit in the past 3 years, and I used to wonder when I would get a break. Taking a look back, I feel there was always a silver lining during my times of hardship. Always an upside. It's during those dark times that I tried to find any bit of goodness I could. I feel like being grateful during those times can heal you. 

I continue to tell myself, this isn't forever. Soon I can simply go to work and come home to my family. I'll have my degree and I'll have accomplished a task that has been a challenge since I began 7

Years ago. (Yes 7, I've had a lot happen inbetween). My husband and I can actually have time to workout, hike, camp, bike, enjoy life!

I am ready, so ready. 

Happiness is my Husband

I am feeling overwhelmed with gratitude today.

I will not make this a long post.

I simply want to say, how grateful I am for...

My husband.

He cleans the dishes without asking.

He does the laundry when he knows I don't have time.

He is patient with my moods.
He is patient in general.

He loves me.

Not a simple kind of love either.

He loves me for everything I am, everything I can do, and can be, but...

He also loves me for everything I lack, for my short comings, my weaknesses.

He uplifts me, instead of breaking me down.

He believes in me.

Not only is Ryan all of this and more,

He is an amazing, amazing father.

He knows what it means to love his son.
To be an example to his son.

To be tentative to his son.

Although, he may not always want to get up in the middle of the night, 

He does.

He never gets upset, mad, or frustrated when Austin is fussy.

He changes poopy diapers without complaint.

Every night, he helps me with bedtime. No questions asked.

He has nothing but love for his child, and his wife.

For this I am grateful.

I have chosen well.

Women, appreciate all that your husband does. They need to know how you feel.

Happiness is a New Year

Oh the New Year. I have learned it is very important to appreciate the year past and to welcome the New Year in a positive light. I see many people who say "2013 sucked, I am ready for 2014!" You never know what this year could bring. It could bring joy or heart ache. Never wish a year away, and never assume the future. Be grateful God blessed you with another 365 days of life. Each year, whether good or bad, is a gift.

I have some pretty awesome goals for myself this year. I know I can accomplish them, if I so choose to be dedicated. I will share just a few of my goals and "resolutions."

My Individual Goals

1. Strengthen my relationship with God and Jesus Christ

2. Strengthen my relationship with my Husband

3. Take care of my mind, body, and spirit (Yoga, Exercise, Healthy Eating)

4. Graduate College

5. Keep a steady journal (A daily journal is unrealistic in my life)

Ryan and I's Joint Goals

1. Do more activities together

2. Spend more time outdoors

3. Grow spiritually together

4. Save $$ for retirement (because lets face it, social security is a thing of the past)

"Today is the first page of a 365 book. Write a good one."

Happiness Begins...When turning 25!

So on Wednesday I turned 25. I felt so many weird emotions I don't even know how to explain them, but I'll try...

1. I felt old. Most people told me this doesn't happen till 26. However, it happened for me...at 25.

2. Reality set in that I am a quarter of a century already. Where did time go? So much can happen in 25 years. It can't be possible. I must really be 45...

3. Then the positives. I began to realize I'm only 25 and I have a faithful and loving husband, a happy and healthy child, and on Monday I will officially be a home owner...I think I'm on the right track. 

So anyways despite me not wanting to grow older. My husband tried to make it enjoyable. He had beautiful sunflowers delivered to my work. I've always always wanted that. However, I've never told him that, but he must of read my mind. The sunflowers were especially special. He remembered there was a bush of them outside the house my mom last lived in. I would pick them and put them at her grave. He's so thoughtful.

He also bought be Call of Duty: Ghosts. I know most of my girlfriends won't understand, but this was the beat present ever! He sure knows the way to my heart! I love COD. It's the only game I play though, all other video games are over my head. Yes, I am better at the game then Ryan ;)

We then went to Texas Road House! I road the saddle, enough said.

It was a great day! 

New Things

I am a total slacker when it comes to blogging. My whole 365 Austin project lasted maybe 20 days. I have been so busy I seem to not be able to keep up with anything lately.

Ryan and I move into our house in just under a month (assuming all goes as planned). We were supposed to be moved in right now, but the contractors got behind (not surprised). It's been a new experiencing building a home. And we got to choose so many things it was fun. Granted it is a town home, it's still out first home together. We visited it last Sunday, and here is the progress so far. 

Half of the house is dry walked but all of it is stuccoed now! I'm so ready to be away from commercial construction and away from loud people above me and away from Provo. 

Don't hey me wrong Provo is a great city, but it's so congested and busy all the time. There is no peace and quiet. That is one of the reasons Ryan and I chose Saratoga Spring/Lehi. It's quiet. 

------------------------------------------

We got Austin's 6 month pictures done! (Thanks Madelyn Wayment)! He is growing up way to fast!!! 

He laughs all the time, smiles most of the time (unless it involves naps or sleeping). He is super close to crawling. He doesn't like to roll much bc his big head is to much to flip haha! He babbles, makes weird noises with his lips and tongue, and mimics all my noises. He loves bath time! He weighs 19.5 lbs and is 27 inches! His favorite food right now is sweet potatoes and squash! He hates peas. I tried so many times and he just spits them out! He's almost 7 months old! How time flies!

6 month photo's

Just being his cute self!

His smile melt my heart every time!

Memorial Day Weekend

Ryan and I had a wonderful weekend! We spent it with friends and family and our amazing little Austin! (Who isn't so little anymore)

Friday was kind of uneventful. I came home from work around 8 and did homework, and ended up passing out for the night. I felt bad because Ryan totally wanted to go out, but I was too exhausted. I am back to working full time and going to school and trying to be a good mom. That can take a lot out of anyone. Sometimes I don't know how I do it, I just do.

Saturday was such a great day. Karla came over and did my hair :) and then we went to hang out with our friend Sarah at the pool in Eagle Mountain. Later that evening Ryan and I had a bonfire with our friends Jake, Aubre, Sean, and Cari. We made delicious tin foil dinners and roasted starbursts.

Sunday, Ryan and I went up to our friends the Johnson's cabin. There we rode four wheelers, relaxed, ate good food, and just spent time with one another. It was really nice getting out of town for a bit. Everyone loved spending time with Austin!

Memorial day was spent running a few errands. Later we headed up to Salt Lake City to have a BBQ with my family. We hung out at the pool and ate delicious steak, chicken, and brauts (sp?). It was nice spending time with my sister Jessi and my sweet nephew kason. I had missed them a ton while they were in Hawaii!

Now unfortunatley it's back to work for Ryan and I. I hope we can take a little trip to california soon. I am in need of the beach and a little family vacation...Maybe for our 3 year anniversary. Next weekend Austin is getting blessed. I am so excited, but I need to find his outfit!

Cheers! <3>

The past 6 weeks...

The Past 6 Weeks

I'd have to say a lot has happened in 6 weeks.

Mostly great things :) This year has really turned out to be a better one than the past 2.

As you know, 6 weeks ago I had a beautiful baby boy.

he is growing so fast, and might I add, he is a chunky one. 

I don't exactly know how much he weighs right now, but it's over 10 lbs.

He's such a great eater, and goes about 3-4 hours in between. If I am lucky sometimes more.

He barely ever cries (he'd rather grunt lol)

He looks so much like both Ryan and I it's crazy!

He's absolutely perfect.

Also, I had lots of visitors. 

My best friend Mary came to visit from Georgia! 

We had lots of fun! 

I miss her so much.

My Step Mom Jenny, My Sister April, and My Grandma Jeanette came in town the week after.

It was Jessi and Dustin's graduation and they came to meet Austin.

It was wonderful spending so much time with them. 

Another amazing thing.

We are currently under contract for a new built home that will be finished in september.

We have already been approved, we will not close, however, until August.

I am very excited for the things to come.

I finished another semester of school with great grades.

I officially only have 1 year left until I am completely DONE with school.

It has been hard being pregnant having a baby and continuing school, but I am proud of myself.

Not only did I complete 2 full semesters. I managed to complete them successfully with good grades. 

Although I have experienced a lot of bad the past 2 years. 

I am grateful for the good that God has brought into my life.

I miss my Mom and Dad more than words can express.

At times I get angry and wish they were both here to help me, but then...

then God reminds me of my purpose and the good I still have left on this earth.

I am grateful.

I can't wait to see what the next 6 weeks brings me :)

Life is Good.

Sixteen

List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

1. He isn't your future husband, he won't matter to you in 10 years. Also, he gets fat, so forget how attractive he may seem now. He may be your first love, but he isn't your last.

2. Be yourself. Being someone your not does not make friends that last. In your 20's you will realize how many wonderful friends you have, just by being honest and yourself.

3. Enjoy your runners physic, it doesn't last. Also, enjoy running, because in a few months you'll get injured and never run the same.

4. Appreciate your Mother and Father. They only want what is best for you. Don't yell at them, don't argue with them. Spend quality time with them. You would never know that you will lose both of them before you're 25.

5. Stop speeding. You're going to lose your license.

6. Stay active in the church, if you don't you will make mistakes that will damage your self worth. However, you'll find your way out of that dark place, thanks to a certain guy who respects you and loves you and thanks to the faith you find in yourself.

7. You'll still be working for West Marine 8 years later ;)

8. Appreciate your step mom, Jennifer. She will be the only parent you have left.

9. Save your money, you'll need it when you're married.

10. Walk away from the temptations of high school. They were never important and will never be important.

3 weeks and counting...

The past 3 weeks have been such an adventure! I never realized how tired I would could be. I also never realized how hard it was to change a diaper on an infant. Or how exhausting it can be to feed a baby every 3 hours, and then pump, and then change his diaper... By the time everything is done. It's 30 minutes of sleep and back to the routine again. I guess what I am trying to say... I never knew how tiring it could be to be a MOM!

Good news is...

After 3 weeks I am starting to get the hang of things.

I can now change a diaper and only use 1 diaper (yes I had no idea my baby would poop on me while changing his diaper).

I can feed him without having to pump also... (yay for not being "engorged") 

I get at least 2 hours of sleep in-between feedings (when he isn't awake making grunting noises haha)

I have managed to clean my house, do my laundry, and finish my homework. (ok I am working on the homework part lol!)

I love being a mom. All the sleepless nights, the dirty diapers, and the constant feedings are more than worth it :)

New baby...New life

We are parents! 

WOW!

My experience was great. 

My labor lasted 5 and half hours. 

I got to experience real labor contractions for 3.5 hours after my water broke.

I only had to push for 20 minutes.

His shoulders got stuck and had to be pushed out so I didn't get to do immediate skin on skin.

He was super blue and his body temperature was low.

He however is healthy and beautiful!

We are IN LOVE.

Me on the other hand... It's been a new experience.

Being a first time mom is definitely not easy, but its worth it.

Late nights, zero sleep, constant feeding, constant diaper changing...

Oh and I have Mastitis. (Infection from breastfeeding)

But I am coping.

being in school while being a new mom, not easy.

I went back when he was 1 week old.

I also feel angry sometimes.

I miss my mom.

Most of my friends have their mom to help. I don't.

It's not easy. I get so frustrated. I am coping though.

Goodnight. 

Another accident in the books!

Well I'd say a lot has happened in the past week with Ryan and I, but where to begin...

The last day I updated was Tuesday. Turns out that night ended up being very eventful. Ryan and I attended our last prenatal class. We drove separately because he came form work. On our way home a man ran a red light at the Provo Center St. Exit and we collided. I luckily slowed down enough not to deploy any airbags, but it was scary. He just wasn't paying attention. Ryan, seeing all of this happen was of course freaked out. I ended up contracting pretty bad and went to the hospital where they monitored me for hours. I was fine to go home, and at my doctors appointment the next day I found out, I was 2 cm dilated and 70% effaced. That is all the details I'll give, for those who don't know what that means, look it up lol. 

So now we are just waiting for this baby to come... any day now. Preferably soon :)

The rest of the week was spent doing homework, class, work, babysitting my nephew, and resting. (okay so I haven't really had time to rest!)

I love this boy!

Ryan and I are looking forward to our spring break. He still has to work of course, but he gets a break from tedious chemistry! I think I might actually sit down and read a book! Anyone have any good suggestions??? (and please no 50 shades of grey)

Losing Yourself

I am a strong believer in not forgetting yourself once you have children. I know people say, "you won't understand until you have kids. I disagree. I grew up in a pretty large family, and despite my mom and dad splitting up when I was still quite young, both of my parents managed to not lose themselves within parenting.

I guess this post is coming from the frustration I have felt all through my pregnancy, with people telling me that I won't have a life anymore, or I'll have no time for myself, or to work out, or finish school, or work, or play, or go on vacation. I was so shocked at the negativity I got from other parents... like being a parent was some sort of sentence or time you had to serve in jail. I am not pointing out anyone specifically, just in general.

Well I am here to point out that I disagree. Yes, that may be my opinion, and yes I don't have children, yet (one month to go), but I think I have seen enough from personal experience. My mom had 5 kids. She continued to get a degree in accounting, travel, and nursing. She loved to go on vacations ever since we were little. She took time to go out with her girl friends, and took time to herself. The time she wasn't doing all these things was spent closely with us (her children). She made it a point to involve us in every part of her life she could, and she was very capable of doing many things she loved, WITH children. Same with my dad. He pursued his business and happened to be very successful, he enjoyed traveling all over the world, and in the united states (in which he took us along), he also loved boating and Lake Lanier in which he involved his children very much.

My point in this rant is that having children does not mean you stop having fun, stop enjoying your marriage, your life. Yeah you may lack energy for awhile, that doesn't last forever... I have every intention on finishing my degree, I have every intention to continue doing what I love, which yes includes working out on a daily basis, and all things outdoors. My child has every ability to do these things with me.

So if you get anything from this post, realize that I am not meaning to offend anyone who's opinion may be the opposite of mine, I am just defending my opinion.

I choose to see the glass as half full... not half empty.

Valentines & 4 Years Ago

On the actual day of Love, Ry had to do a lot of homework (chemistry sucks). he brought me home a single rose with 2 gerber daises (yes they are my fav) and I made him home made cafe rio (if you don't know what that is, you're missing out on life) style burritos! We just had a quiet night in.

Saturday is where tradition began. Ryan and I are very simple when it comes to Valentines Day. In fact, every year we have been together and lived in Utah we've done the same thing....What is it? The Utah RV show. Yeah, doesn't sound so romantic, but for us, it's so much fun. We went up Saturday morning after Ryan's class, and ate at The Garden Restaurant, which is my favorite in the whole world. We then went to the RV show, where I only lasted about 4 hours! We went back to our hotel (yes we did get a hotel only 25 minutes from home, but it was much needed). We soaked our feet in the hot tub, and relaxed with each other the rest of the night. On sunday we got up, had a delicious breakfast at the hotel, and headed back to the show for another 4 hours of bliss. We had so much fun. I am so grateful that we share the likeness and passion for outdoors. I am glad that something so simple as the RV show is enough for us. Honestly it was one of the best weekends I've had in awhile.

top left: provo beach resort

top right: The Garden

bottom left: my gift

Bottom right: we are awesome.

On a completely different note...February 20th, 2013 marked 4 years since the day Ryan and I had our first date. For those who don't know how we "met" I am going to re live the story now!

March 2009, our first picture together!

Ryan's roomie Erik insisted I meet Ryan, I was very skeptical. He told me he would suggest our friendship on Facebook, and shortly after Ryan sent a friend request. With no intention of actually meeting him, I decided to add him. One night I saw his status say "what to do in Provo on a Friday night?" Knowing there really wasn't much, I decided to send him a message. However, I had plans that Friday night and they weren't to hang out with him. We messaged back and forth and he gave me his number and said to call him if I wanted to hang out. I added his number in my phone, but had no intentions of ever calling. I mean I didn't know him, and I wasn't for meeting people through Facebook. I went to my friends house for a while and talked, as I was about to leave I happened to grab my phone and butt dial Ryan. I freaked out and hit end call. Then I get in my car and as I am leaving I get a call right back, it was Ryan. I felt bad so I answered. He asked what I was doing and I was like "um going home it's almost 11:00 at night." He asked if I wanted to go get ice cream or something, and at this point I felt bad for butt dialing him and said ok, thats fine. I made it back to my apartment, he called and said he was here. Instead of letting him come to my door I told him I would meet him out there. I didn't even give him time to get out and open my door. I just swung the door open. Honestly...the first thing I thought was... wow nice truck (no I'm not kidding). When I opened the door, I then though, oh wow hot guy. I decided I'd give it a try. On February 20th, 2009 Ryan took me to ice cream at the typical BYU first date spot (BYU Creamery) and we ended up talking till almost 4 in the morning. Best night of my life, and I am so glad my phone was smart enough to give him a call ;)

I would of never thought that 4 years from that night, we would be married for over 2 and a half years and expecting our first little baby. I could not be happier, and I could not feel more blessed then I do to this day.

Lack of Time

Things have been super crazy for Ryan and I this year. On top of preparing for this baby, we run around like a chicken with our head cut off, everyday, trying to get everything done for school, work, home, friends, sports.

I have to give props to Ryan, I don't really know how he does it all. He is currently working 50-60 hours a week, and taking 8 credit hours of class on top of that. If that wasn't enough he plays soccer every week, and manages to help me around the house. He really is a trooper. I can tell it's taking a toll on him.

Why is he going back to school when he has a degree? Ryan recently has wanted to learn more about the medical field. He has always been interested in nursing, however; never really pursued further than getting his EMT. In the case that he wants to venture into a new career path, he wants the options to be open, so he is furthering his education. Nursing is very appealing to him, because of the time it offers to spend with your family, and because he has always had a passion for helping others. Although it is a HUGE time and financial sacrifice, I support him in his decision to further his education. He has really sacrificed the most, because he continues to work full time while pursing his education in Nursing. 

Ryan isn't "unhappy" in his current career choice, he enjoys construction management. He would just like to keep options open when it comes to spending more time with his family. He really started becoming serious about it, when he found out we were having a baby.

On my end of things. I am just trying to be the best wife and student I can. Being pregnant definitely exhausts me, but it's still possible to get everything done. I am currently taking 15 credit hours in school. I would be working, but I was put on bed rest up until Jan. and by this time the company I work for was in off season. I am not sure if I am planning on going back full time or not, but it's a possibility. I love working. I am sure I will love being a mom, but I am not sure what path I am going to take yet.

Honestly, I never realized how exhausting just keeping up with the house, cooking, bills, and school all could be. It takes more time than any other job!!

Ryan and I definitely embrace our weekends the best we can. Ryan has class Saturdays till 2, so I get girl time then. However, the rest of the time we spend with each other and friends. We love going out. We long for sundays where we can just relax with one another after church. We are very excited about Valentines Day weekend, we have a lot planned. We'll update you when that happens!

Other than that, we are happy, and can't believe how fast the time of us being together has gone by.